Same and Different

Most people who know us know that this is not the first time we have lived abroad. About four years ago, we lived in Budapest, Hungary for a time. Aside from India being a different county (on a different continent), I have noticed several differences, as well as many similarities between these two experiences. I know these will be gross over-generalizations, but here we go…

Things that are the same:

• Brandon spent a little time here before bringing me along. I think, for Brandon: traveling is exciting, but traveling with me is stressful. This is not because I am high-maintenance (I don't think), but more because he wants to protect me, and hates when things are unpredictable, like if something were to go wrong – when it's just him, he only has to worry about one person. All that to say, I think Brandon likes scoping a place out before he ventures into things with me. With both Hungary and India, he has had that luxury.
  
• Foreign language! In both experiences, English was/is pretty common, but not quite ubiquitous. And in both cases, Brandon was/is dedicated to learning the local language. He loves to learn new words and is not afraid to communicate with people who know little English – it's just another opportunity to learn! He is always asking Didi during meals how to say words in Hindi; we've been here a week and he's already making jokes in Hindi. And, just like Hungary, Brandon has been utterly unimpressed with my complete lack of desire to learn the language. Where does that stubborn streak come from?
  
• Together! Both times, we have jumped into these adventures together – that's the only way to go, in my book. One hundred times better to do something with your best friend by your side.
  

Things that are different:

• Living situation. In Hungary, we lived in our own apartment, which meant I did most of the shopping and cooking…which meant I bought things I recognized and knew how to cook. We ate chicken and pasta and bananas and salad. I shied away from unfamiliar vegetables and foods I had no idea how to cook. Occasionally, we were invited into people's homes for authentic Hungarian food, and of course we ate local cuisine at restaurants, as well. Here, we are totally immersed in the culture. We are living with an Indian family (as well as many others!). We eat what they eat. We live in a house that has a cook, housekeepers, and a driver. We are more exposed to the language and more easily able to ask questions about the culture. I realize that we are only seeing one part of a very large society (1.21 Billion people in India! Census data just came out…), but it is a close-up view, for sure.
  
• Independence. We were MUCH more autonomous in Hungary, for a few reasons. (1) Location: We lived in the center of the city, near most of the action. (2) Public Transportation: Budapest has a ridiculous variety of public transportation, and we had unlimited access to all of it. I often saw people wait for a bus, only to ride it one stop and then get off – it was just so easy and available! I also felt very comfortable traveling around by myself. Here, however, we live in a nice neighborhood, but it's not easy to walk anywhere. Public transportation is more limited; mostly what are available are motor rickshaws. We have to pay for every ride, and it varies/is unpredictable (you have to haggle), and I'm pretty sure we get the "skin tax" – higher rate because they know we don't know any better. I also feel a little wary of traveling too far away from home by myself. The Kumars have a couple of cars, and most places we go, they drive us. We are a little more dependent on them, in this respect.
  
• Noticeability. We moved to Hungary right after college. Hope College, and Holland in general, was an especially friendly place. This made for a stark contrast when we got to Budapest. People mostly kept to themselves; no one really paid attention to anyone. It was like most big cities in the US, I suppose. Even crowded on trains or buses, people didn't make eye contact or interact with the people around them. They weren't cold or rude, just introverted. Here, it's quite the opposite. Everyone stares. All the time. Everything is in-your-face, but not in an aggressive way. For instance, at meals, you have to firmly decline, or Didi will keep piling your plate with more and more food. A polite "no thank you" is basically meaningless. It's the same thing with driving – if you wait your turn, you will wait all day. But, again, it's not really aggressive/road-rage. And the staring; I can't really get used to the staring. (We actually had someone come up to us and ask to have his picture taken with us on his cell phone – that was strange!). I suppose it all has something to do with the population density – it's like coming from a really big family; you have to speak up and be assertive to make yourself heard, or risk being lost in the crowd.
  

Those are just some of the things on my mind. These similarities and differences are not good or bad; they just are. I tend to need a framework in which to place my thoughts and impressions; I can't process a jumble of thoughts. Comparing new things to something I already know is just a way to place my thoughts, I guess.

That's all for now. Can't believe it's April already!